Identity Found: A Conversation About Diamonds


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Have you ever had this thought … who the heck am I anyways? That question alone was the catalyst to the following conversation with God.

Please note this is not a manicured article, this is pretty much like you sitting on the couch across from me in my living room, hopefully with a latte’ :)

It was right before a Woman’s conference at my church (Gateway Church) called Pink Impact that I began this conversation with the Holy Spirit about my identity in Ministry. I started in one of my regular prayer times with the Lord, nothing religious or impressive I promise, powerful prayer doesn’t usually look like what the enemy likes to hit you over the head with while he judges your ability to know God. I like to talk to God while pacing around my kitchen in circles and what may look like to others like I’m talking to myself and really enjoying it. This time consists of pouring out my heart in words and then praying in the spirit and then praying my heart until I get His heart. It’s like He just downloads His heart on the issue at hand. I’ve learned to enjoy and savor those quiet moments when it’s His turn to talk.

So of course He was aware of all the insecurity wrapped up in that question; He knew I needed to hear Him to speak to it. He knew that one question was really a whole bunch of questions, who am I, how the heck do people see me and how do you make sense of all you’ve called me to be? One moment I’m in the deep waters sharing revelations on the power of prayer and the prophetic the next minute the Lord is asking me to do kung-fu meets tae-bo moves in a skit called to make His woman laugh and receive truth through entertainment ministry (Can we call it that?).  “Correlation please?” was basically my question before the Lord.  But I quickly realized I was asking the wrong question. It shouldn’t be, “How do they see me?” it should be, “How do you see me?” Paradigm shift. I began asking the Holy Spirit, “Who do you say that I am as far as my identity in the way it pertains to ministry stuff? I kinda feel like a Christian bipolar … funny one moment, deep the next. What do you say about that … I really wanna know?”

So you know all the sermons on not jumping the gun and forcing what God has put in your heart, ya not so much me. I am the complete opposite. It’s like the Holy Spirit has consistently had to throw me from the nest and convince me I can fly. I was very comfortable hiding behind the oober-gifted people in my life like my husband and one of my crazy talented friends. I am a great personal cheerleader. Then … God asked me to do things that the thought of them made me want to pee my pants.

And well this is my blog, I don’t mind a little tell the truth shame the devil here 😉 . Yes I wanted to pee my pants but my heart couldn’t help but say, “Whatever you ask, I’ll do it, even if I have to do it scared!” And of course every time I stepped out and didn’t land on my face kissing concrete, I began to have confidence in God’s faithfulness. If He told me to do it … He’s not only going to hold my hand, He is going to rest His presence on it … it would have the ability to minister and bear fruit in other’s lives.  That alone blew my mind.

What I like most about the Lord is His voice. When we ask a question it’s not left echoing into space … my God speaks. So in all this asking about how to appropriate who I am, the ministries He has called me to and the expression of that to others … He simply spoke, “The square diamond, study it, you’ll like it.”

Seriously I went to my computer slash dear friend and put “history of square diamond,” in the search engine of yahoo. The treasure hunt of what God wanted to speak to me began. Here is what I learned:

  • The square diamond was first cut 60 years ago and called the Barion cut and was perfected in the last 30 years.
  • The square diamond is now called the Princess cut.
  • The Princess cut can only be cut from stones that have depth.
  • The princess cut has up to 76 facets cut making it the most brilliant sparkling diamond cut.
  • The more facets a diamond has, greater is it’s ability to shine once the light hits it.  Because of the depth it has the ability to shine from deep with in the diamond.
  • The Princess cut hides the most imperfections of any cut and yet it is more brilliant than any other cut.
  • This cut retains more rough diamond than other cuts.
  • It’s four corners reaching out makes it vulnerable if not incased in a proper frame.

Has the Holy Spirit already been speaking to you as you read those facts. He was just downloading like crazy to my heart about how He created me to be mutli-faceted. How He has called us to shine from every facet. That although I have depth, He has called me to shine from every facet/expression He has called me to be. When humor is needed … He says shine. When the prophetic is needed  … He says shine. When revelation is needed … He says shine.  He created me with so many facets. So that day by choice I totally embraced the different expressions of who I am and how He wants to use all of them to bring people to Him and to the freedom of accepting themselves the way He has made them. I am ok with the fact I am a total dork. Dork; in the best best definition of the word of course :) . I laugh out loud in movies, I cry if I see God in anything, I make people dress up red carpet for my birthday to watch the Oscars and on the flip side I love seeing woman set free to walk in intimacy with the Lord, I desire prayer to be de-mystified and attractive. I want all people to see my friend the Holy Spirit for who He really is. He loves to laugh and dance. He smiles while His kindness woos us to new levels of death. Yes I said it. Oh but that you would understand how sweet death to self is (that’s another blog). He doesn’t have a lightening bolt in His hand just the scars of Jesus that promises us the ability to overcome by what Jesus has done!

With great resolve I declare I am a diamond, a diamond of the Princess cut and so are you! I pray that through some glimpse of this revelation and the history of the diamond cut called the Princess cut the Holy Spirit spoke something new to your heart about your identity. You don’t have to be one way … look one way. You are brilliant in all the ways (facets) He has created in you. Nothing about you is unusable for Him. Not one part of you is a mistake … it’s how your cut! You were created to shine the reflection of His light.  He wants to shine through all the ways you are … YOU!

With Great Love and from one Princess cut diamond to another! Go Shine!



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