The Lord is my portion… It’s a long one… but I think it’s worth it!


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Okay…so at the beginning of Jan. I fasted all caffeine for 21 one days because I wanted to give the first of the year to the Lord…as I examined my heart to see what sufficient sacrifice I could give to the Lord…it was clear that my daily energy drink and triple shot americano would be a doozy! I knew clear well it would be a week of migraines and moodiness…I could of weaned myself…ya, but that would have been too easy. I pretty much locked myself in my house…peeling myself off the floor (okay..thats dramatic) it was more like off my bed and the coach to home school my oldest and get the older two to gymnastics. I rarely called my friends as not to unleash all the complaining and grumbling that was pent up in side of me as the toxins were not only being released and cleared from my body…they would have come out my mouth (not to say there were not moments). But, over all I desperately wanted to cheerfully give this gift to the Lord. Before the fast the Lord had begun to talk to me about my affections and where I placed my affections. All that know me well know… I loooove me sum coffee…addicted not only to the caffiene… but the cup…the entire ritual of slowly sipping coffee all morning. I really believe there is no problem in that…the problem for me was that somewhere deep inside I had believed a lie…and the lie being that I could not get up and have enough energy to take care of my four boys unless I had an energy drink or coffee…which obvious to me revealed in my heart that the Lord was not enough or sufficient. The affection I placed in coffee was not balanced with truth. Jesus is enough and His grace is sufficient. The lord began speaking to me… saying I am your portion. People would ask me how I was doing and I would say things to the effect, “five days off “the caffeine”,and the Lord is my portion.” Whenever I was tempted or struggled I would say to myself “The Lord is my portion”, and although this comforted me the revelation is was not yet complete. The 21 days have come and gone and I have had both coffee and energy drinks sometimes every other day…some days back to back. I have guarded my heart against the lie that I need anything but Him to conquer the daily activities of life in a house of four boys. A place where I have to not only balance the responsibilities of keeping house but also the weighty responsibilities of educating our boys both in academics and godly character. I have to admit even without caffeine I get tired…but, I’m learning this greater dependance on God and His faithfulness compels me on to see fruit in this area of my life. Last weekend during the worship service at church the Lord asked me to do a study on what God means when He says,”I am your portion.” I ran across this writing from Octavius Winslow in 1870, It was poignant to me and I wanted to share. It encouraged me and I’m slowly getting it at deeper levels what David meant when he cried out to God in Ps.16:5-6, ” Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside you. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Hope you enjoy!


“The Lord is my portion, says my soul; therefore I will hope in Him.” Lam. 3:24

It is our great privilege, beloved, that we live in a portionless world. This is both our distinctive badge and our Christian charter. When God parceled out the land of Canaan among the tribes of Israel, He made an exception in the tribe of Levi, to whom He said, “You shall have no inheritance in the land, neither shall you have any part among them;” assigning as His reason, “I am your share and your inheritance.” The gospel teaching of this is obvious and significant. As the Lord’s true priesthood, this world is not our portion, nor earth our rest. It may have required some painful discipline, and no small measure of faith, on the part of the devout Levite, as he gazed upon the fertile meadows, the watered plains, and the vine-clad hills of the Promised Land, before he was made willing to relinquish it all for Him who is invisible–and it needs no little teaching and discipline of our God, and no little faith on our part, before we are led to give up the world, the creature, self, and all, for Christ–satisfied to have the Lord alone as our Portion, and heaven only as our inheritance.

But the Lord will not put His people off with anything unworthy of Him to give, or them to accept. He has set them apart for Himself, and Himself apart for them. “All believers are the Lord’s CLERGY; and as they are His portion, so He is theirs.” (Leighton.) “The Lord’s portion is His people, Israel is the lot of His inheritance.” “The Lord is my portion, says my soul.” His love to us was so great, that when He could give no greater proof of that love, He gave HIMSELF. Nothing more could have expressed the yearnings of His heart, nothing less could have satisfied the desires of ours.

And oh, what a Portion is God! All that He is and all that He has is ours! Every attribute of His being is over us, every perfection of His nature encircles us, every pulse of His heart beats for us, every glance of His eye smiles upon us. We dwell in God, and God dwells in us. It is not the world which is our portion, but HE who made, upholds and governs the world. It is not the creature who is our portion, but the Lord of angels and the Creator of men. Infinite portion! illimitable power! immeasurable grace! boundless love! all-satisfying good! all, all is ours!

And what a Portion, O my soul, is Christ! A divine Christ, a redeeming Christ, a full Christ, a sympathizing, ever-present, ever-precious, ever-loving Christ.

‘Lord, I bless You for the discipline that brought me to realize what a divine, all-satisfying Portion I have in Yourself. You took from me an earthly portion, only to enrich me with a Heavenly one. You removed from me the human prop upon which I too fondly and idolatrously leaned, that I might learn what Christ was, as my soul’s all-sufficient, all-satisfying, and everlasting Portion. I can now admire the wisdom and adore the love that blasted my gourds and emptied me from vessel to vessel, that, rising superior to the broken staff, the drooping flower, and the failing spring of creature good, I might claim my portion as a true spiritual Levite in Yourself alone.’

Believer in Jesus! make the most of your portion. It is all-sufficient for all your need. God has, perhaps, made you poor in this world, that you might be rich in faith and an heir of that kingdom of glory, the New Jerusalem, He has prepared for you–whose foundations are precious stones, whose walls are jasper, whose gates are pearls, whose streets are pure gold, and through which softly flows the river of the water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and the Lamb, in the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river is the tree of life, bearing twelve manner of fruit, and yielding her fruit every month. All this awaits you! Hope in the Lord, hope in adversity, hope in trial, hope against hope, for God in Christ is your present and eternal Portion. “The Lord is my Portion, says my soul; therefore I will HOPE in Him.”

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