The 21 day challenge! Jesus and Ris take on afternoon anger!

Mar
2009
30

posted by on Blog Entries

17 comments

It’s kind of funny because I never thought I was an angry person until I got married and had kids. Jesus never said we wouldn’t get angry…because…umm…we WILL get angry…it’s just a matter of how we deal with our anger. I got permission from my husband Yuri to open a window into the raw realness of our lives to share a recent journey I went on with the Lord. I get a lot of comments like, “Wow how do you do all that you do with four kids…AND home school…AND spend time with the Lord…you are like Super Mom!” …Um …no I am just a daughter of the King just like you trying my best to pursue God in the mundane and the great! Just this weekend I would have been the Mom you saw at Subway with her bottom up high noon trying with one hand to hold her britches above her panties and with the other wiping up spilled lemonade from her two year old…all while holding my breath and chanting the mantra we all know, “I think I can…I think I can,”…endure all the starring! I’m just like you…I am in the journey of BECOMING! Becoming the woman after His heart, the wife who honors her husband, and the nurturing steward of the children I must release back into His care. So in this ever-evolving process of becoming…I had begun talking to Lord about how I felt about the anger I would feel almost everyday that my husband wouldn’t walk in the door between a certain time. I would get angry at him for not coming home on time…for surely this reflected how much he loved me…not true. I would get angry at circumstances…especially the ones that would come up fifteen minutes before he left work…because surely this reflected how he picked circumstances over me….not true. Can you begin to see the lies I had allowed my heart to believe? Can you see how those lies fueled and kindled anger in my heart? The journey to freedom and truth in this area began with acknowledging how ugly the anger made me feel. How the enemy was right there to accuse me when I would indulge in it. You know as woman and men we are so different…our perspectives are so diverse. I am a minute counter…I can tell you how many minutes it takes to do almost anything. My husband on the other hand is very optimistic in his generalization of time. Example… Can you conquer the world in three minutes?…and just like Bob the Bulider…”Yes I can!”, would be his response. And I love him for his optimism…I just wasn’t loving it at five pm when I thought I needed him home…just his presence was soothing after a long day of home-schooling and domestic greatness;) So, when I would get the calls that things were NOT going according to my by-the-minute plan….there was the awkward silence followed by the stressed wordless ”mmm…hmmm…” I’m sure he dreaded it.
My heart would be disappointed and withdrawal. When I would get off the phone the devil would begin to accuse my husband to me. Some days I would be the warrior princess Jesus has called me to be combating the lies of the enemy with my numchuck skills of worship and reliance. Other days I would fail in this area of my heart giving way to fatigue and discouragement. Aren’t you glad that it’s not in the falling but in the getting back up that defines a man of perseverance and character…I sure am! We may fall…life in God is not without it’s falls and failures but even in ALL THIS we cling to Jesus and the process of becoming His princess…His bride!
So, as I began to talk to Jesus about my afternoon anger problem and lift it to him. I could hear Him reminding me of a saying I’ve heard many times….”It only takes 21 days to break or make a habit.” This got me thinking and as I meditated on this…I could feel Him calling me to a fast like challenge. Because I was so done with the ugliness this anger would make me feel I responded to the Lord, “Let’s take it to the mattresses! What do you want me to do?…Jesus let’s do this thang!” And then it was like He gave me the download…aka…the God plan. Which involved not calling, texting, or emailing my husband after four pm until he got home and then not asking why he was or was not home by a certain time for 21 days! Now I just had to obey and be diligent to give this gift to the Lord and my husband with a good attitude and joyful heart. Remember God loves a cheerful giver…I may not have been giving him money but I was giving Him the sacrifice of my heart to be more like Him. I was giving Him place to be Lord of my anger. There were days over the 21 day challenge when I had made plans to be places at a certain time and I had to trust God to apprehend my husband and remind him to be home. And you know what?.. HE DID IT! Every time without fail the Lord took my sacrifice and blessed me with His faithfulness. The kind of faithfulness that IS tangible. I knew from the minute the Lord spoke this challenge to me it wasn’t to change my husband…it was to change me! The question was…would I be willing to be the only one changed? Would I change even if my husband didn’t? Would I be willing to take on the perspective of maybe he really didn’t even need to be changed. Ladies… it’s just all about BECOMING…it may not be anger for you…there may be other areas the Lord wants to give you His beauty for your ashes….Let Him have it…I promise you…He can be trusted! If you find any encouragement at all from this rendering of my heart let be that…we are not perfect and…um…He kind of gets that because He made us human and fallible. But as we give him our shortcomings and failures He perfects our faith…He perfects our spirit to grow in the likeness of Christ. So as our spiritual man is BEING perfected doesn’t mean our fleshly man doesn’t have falls (don’t get me wrong the falls become less) but the falls DO NOT disqualify the work of our spirits BEING perfected…we DON’T start over…we simply get up…wipe our hands off…lift our heads to focus on the Son and continue on this journey of knowing Him!!!!

You are LOVED and carried in my heart!
With the GREATEST love,
~Ris

17 comments

  1. Tomi Jarrell
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  6. Jessica Harry
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