What could have been shame has become a passionate love affair! My Christmas remembering!

Dec
2007
15

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I was in a nostalgic moment…thinking about what Christmas meant to me. I had some time to kill waiting in 20 minutes of traffic trying to get out of the mall parking lot. I was helping my husband with ideas for things the kids could get me for Christmas, when I began to think about gifts and gift giving. A gift giver by nature (and yes it my love language) I always want to get people the perfect gift. A gift that says…I know you…I take notice of the things you like…your style or quirky personality. A gift that ultimately says I LOVE YOU and that you are important enough to me that I would take the time to really think about who you are before I would just get anything. I began to think of what the perfect gift for me would be…I couldn’t even think of anything…a gift giver type person doesn’t even think about gifts for themselves as much as they enjoy buying for others…it’s just not as much FUN;) I began to realize that there really isn’t a perfect gift that could ever satisfy the need we have to feel loved by another person. What gift ever moved my heart…like REALLY moved my heart…that was something I could put in my hand…I thought about my marriage and our courtship…I looked at my ring…I could put it in my hand but, it only represents memories and emotions that are more powerful than the tangibility of the ring itself. This tangent quickly lead me to remembering my salvation…the day I met Him…the ONE that would change everything for me. I was eighteen (thought I was going on 30 or something…too sassy for my own good)…about a hundred pounds hooked on crystal meth…living a life away from God and everything that entails. I had a grandma praying need I say more. I was in a kitchen alone leaning on the counter when I first heard His voice, “I’m going to do wonders in your life.” I replied sharply,” You are going to do wonders in my life..umm..I’m a drug addict by the way…thought you knew that being God and all.” He knew and He chose me anyway. A GREAT kind of love changed me that day and a fantastic love affair with the lover of my soul began. He is the gift that changes me daily if I embrace it. I know that I don’t fully understand the sacrifice of love that Jesus made the day He laid his life down for ALL of US. But I DO know that I came alive when I met Him…He put a dream and purpose in my heart…I knew together with God I could do anything He wanted me to do and we would do it together! So…it’s Christmas…again…and it will come around every year at the same time until I see him face to face. I could focus on not wanting to have to decorate my house…long lines EVERYWHERE…mean people in cars yelling, but you can’t hear them… and let’s not even talk about the post office…or I can take a moment every year (a kind of quiet moment…although I just realized this year I’m sharing that quiet moment with all of you) to reflect on my perfect gift…(truly all of our perfect gift) He came to me as a young girl with great shame and offered me a lifelong love affair…I accepted…and there have been some incredible bonus gifts given along the way…that include the Mister and the four little misters. I LOVE YOU ALL and hope your Christmas is FULL of remembering how we met HIM… this GREAT kind of LOVE!!!!

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